Today my partner is saying sorry that he locked me out for days when he was embarking on a 3 days journey. He came back and he went as far as crying his eyes like a small child, To make me believe he is so sorry. But is sorry ever enough?
I cry everyday with no one knowing how Or understanding how I feel inside. I use to feel I will out grow my societal and religious oppression. but I was and I am still wrong. unfortunately here I am in a marriage forced by my father. A marriage with no love to me is an imprisoned life. I am locked up emotionally, my bussiness has crumpled and I have no where to put my head. I force myself to have sex with this man I consider a monster and when I fight back I get locked out with no where to sleep.
oh God where have I gone wrong for my life to be so bad. my mum believes he is good man since he provides enough food in the house, it should be enough for me to stay with him but I disagree with her. no human being should have that much control over the other.
I am educated, well travelled but yet I am in this situation. how did my life get this bad?!
Funny enough my friends dont feel I should complain because they feel the same way as my mum. I find solace in sharing my story here. incase if I am no more others shouldnt feel the way I feel. you can voice out your pains. sometimes even get a solution to your problem despite what you might face. you might be insulted, hated and even be isolated by people dear to you just because they do not understand your pain.
I hope I give voice to those that need it and if you have a way out don’t stay in an abusive relationship whether it’s physical or emotional.
you are are not alone.
Thank you for reading my story